|
  |
| 作者 | 主题:My broken heart in the first secret love |
|
bertha |
发表于:2005-12-14 14:32:01
When I entered my high school, being assigned to sit beside the window, I met the boy who acted the leading role in my secret love scene. He sat beside me. He is certainly a smart boy. His talent in learning and stable behavior seems absolutely attractive to some girls. Unfortunately, I was one of the victims for his charm. It was the first time for me to like a boy. Maybe somebody think I am joking for it was too late to think of love, but it is true. During the times we sat together I always performed proud and cool before him as if he was the air in the atmosphere. He was smart but a little shy boy and inward. He spoke little all day and seldom smiled. Time flied. I and he were apart the next semester. He sat in the last row of the classroom while I was sitting in the mid row and in another line. But I could not help missing him though I still acted cool and rarely spoke to him, so I did ridiculous thing to see him after classes. It is to go to the washing room. So I went out through the hind door to the toilet every rest between classes. It was too stupid, was not it? I tried to be outstanding when he was present and spoke radical words about things to attract his attention. All I thought that time was getting his attention. As I referred above, I was only one of the victims and was a timid girl inside my heart. But a pretty girl was fascinated by him too. (When I think of it now, I admire her very much.) She was much braver than I was. She began to ask him questions and discuss problems with him more and more often. At the end of the second semester in my high school’s life, I lost the right to love him—he was another one’s boyfriend. My heart broke when I saw them walking hand in hand at night on the grassy playground of our school. I could not hear what friends beside me said. I was definitely deaf at such time. I lost myself then. What I could think was nothing. Continuing… |
bertha | 发表于:2005-12-14 14:40:26 A substitute for the love I even didn’t know how I had finished the final examines at the end of the second semester. Of course, it was an awful tablet with low scores on it when my parents open the letter containing the results of the final tests. They didn’t say anything but shaking their heads. I had nothing to say either. What can I say? What can I do? It was a short and long time for me to spend the summer vacation. I felt agonizing so the time is hard to kill and the holiday seemed very long. But when it ended, I didn’t want to go to school, and felt the holiday is too short to forget the first secret love. But life is life no matter what you are feeling. Life was continuing and everything ran orderly though my heart was disordered. It was lucky that I was arranged to sit far away from him and Icy sitting with me. She was a cute girl with short hair and shining eyes. And Sun and Windy sat at front of us. They both were good boys—good learning, clever mind and comfortable looking. Sun sat at front of me, so we talked a lot after classes. I was successfully off the stupid habit but could not erase all the feelings about him. I couldn’t concentrate on my studying all the time. Then I did a cold-blooded thing: that was I tried to fall love with Sun. It was not difficult for he was an excellent boy worthy being loved. I spent more and more time with him. Gradually I didn’t feel miserable thinking of the first secret love and longer and longer gap to think of it. I was happy that I could work hard on studying again. But I did not notice Sun’s feeling those times. And I thought this shameful thing would be hidden in my heart and nobody would know it. A semester passed quickly with my hard work. I got a high score at the end, as I was expected. A happy vacation with my parents ran fast and I did not communicate with Sun during the vacation. I didn’t want to be involved in love in my high school then. And it was easier for me to forget those happy times with Sun than the first secret love. I succeeded. When the new term began, I was the girl only concerning the study. Continuing… |
bertha | 发表于:2005-12-29 15:54:54 An unexpected love When I started my new term with an aggressive spirit, I ignored anything else in my life. Soon the unexpected Valentine’s Day came without any illusion to me. When I found an anonymous chocolate in my drawer, I got it out to share with Sun and Windy and Icy. I did not ask for the one who sent it for it meant nothing to me, and did not care the others except myself. Unfortunately I received a letter after the rest at noon. It was from Sun. Following the instruction, I came to the stadium after supper. I could finish my meal in 5 minutes at that time because I wanted to save more spare time to study. To a person who would appreciate time like this, you could not require her to be patient to other things she didn’t care for (Maybe just an excuse to relief myself). I came punctually but he was waiting there. I had nothing to say and he suggested taking a walk. After finished two too tranquil circles of walk, no talk no smile just walking and walking, I became impatient and could not bear the atmosphere there. I suddenly quested in an unfriendly tune that why he asked me to be there. This abrupt question made him in a mess and blushed. Though I was not a sensitive girl, I became to think the possibility that he liked me. I became afraid and said determinately that I had to go back to study. I was afraid what I should do if he said that. That was the first time that I could not concentrate on my books and exercises since the beginning of this semester. After several hours I had done little. The book stayed on the same page as time went by. I stared at them but thought nothing in my mind. A note passed from Sun that “I like you”. I felt sacred. How I hoped that it was not true. I did not want to hurt him, but I cannot accept him for the fear that love would affect the study and I was afraid that I would not return my love to him as the same as he could do. How I shuddered when I saw the sorrow and hurt in his eyes at the stadium when I said these words. I could not repay her love definitely, at least at that time. I disregard the note hoping our life would return to the previous mode without my reaction. But sadly, another note was passed down to me that “Do you like me”. I had nothing but confronted the current status. What should I do? My mind could not run well for he was not a stranger but the one who I used to like, or just to say, I tried to love. Continuing… |
bertha | 发表于:2005-12-29 18:07:26 The final scene I called for help from Icy as she was my best friend then. Stand by can see more clear. I told her the whole thing. She was a little surprised and began to analyze for me. Thanks to her! I could not be at risk of losing in the college entrance test for I did not want to depress my parents and myself, especially for a boy even maybe I did not love him. Standing on this fact, I refused him by sending a note that “I don’t like him”. It was true that I was a egoistic girl, but I was a obedient girl at the same time. I only love my family and myself. Sun was angered by this, his reaction made me feel terrible. As the weekend came round, Sun invited I and Icy to see a film. I had no excuse to avoid this. When sitting at the cinema, I found they two matched each other perfectly. On our way back home, I made a joke that they should be together for they were so matching. Sun became dumb but said nothing. Since then, we three became aloof and we never sat together again during the extra high school life. This situation had lasted to the end. We took the college entrance test, came back home waiting for the result. I was peaceful at that time for I thought I had tried my best. One day, Sun telephoned me. We had a short talk both worrying the result. At last, he asked me if I could give him another chance. I had no response. After a struggle against a heavy physical test and psychological burden, I was tired of anything in the world. All I wanted was a leisure life filled with sleeping and eating. I said nothing, may be I should say I had none thought in my mind. This was the last communication between us in the next three years. The scores came out. I got a high score as everyone expected. Choosing a satisfied university in the north, I began my college life. He got a lower but also good score and stayed in the south. Then we never connected each other in the following three years. One day I heard from a friend that they two Sun and Icy became lovers. Hung up the phone, I thought of the past, the hard studying days, the sweet love accompanying with pain, etc. All the things happened seems like a millennium ago. All these become a memory which is only a memory and will never happen again. Ending |
secretgard
| 发表于:2006-1-3 12:20:27 Very Good !  |
caca | 发表于:2006-1-14 16:39:01 you affect me.appreciate your spirit. |
wangsuyu | 发表于:2006-1-29 21:37:30 u can express ur feeling vivdly,sincerely,i am confused how can u write such a beautiful sentences.meanwhile,what a sensitive and cool girl u are !i hope ican read ur other essays later,then u can display ur unusal talent on english to all of us :) |
jnicholas | 发表于:2006-2-6 14:24:34 girls always!  |
jnicholas
| 发表于:2006-2-6 14:28:37 let it down! |
好玩 | 发表于:2006-3-7 15:52:01 good story so true i like it |
chuntian | 发表于:2006-4-9 9:44:37  |
chuntian | 发表于:2006-4-9 9:45:19    |
love_daisy
| 发表于:2006-4-26 9:14:03 i had been readed it , like ..oh not only like ,i want crying as i was reading it. good story , |
toulychen
| 发表于:2006-4-29 10:13:13 Love story,haha~~ ---------------------------------------------------- Hei,everybody,hope we will be a friend.Remember me!A lovely girl,Touly Chen. |
jacket | 发表于:2006-5-12 9:24:35 Finished reading this story ,I can not help to praise you . Obviously.you are a good guy , from your heart-warming article I know how to quit .I do not know how to encourage others ,but just come on ,here ,to write down your moving story! |
xujingsue | 发表于:2006-5-18 20:06:26 Glad to be friend with you ! I'm an easygoing girl ,you can contract with me . The address is :xujingsue@yahoo.com  |
weier | 发表于:2006-5-19 14:32:13 UP |
寒冰 | 发表于:2006-5-26 20:15:29 I can understand ever````i~~also had that thing ```slao ``I``maybe acecpt`her```   |
snowsky | 发表于:2006-5-29 13:23:34 I am really moved by your story!Nothing is impossible!Just believe yourself,you are a very good girl,I think. God bless you.  |
tianli520 | 发表于:2006-6-1 20:23:19 you were rather sensible to resolve the feeling question at high school.not everyone can do it like you. you are lucky and bravey! the more you pain,the more you gain! |
冰木赤忱 | 发表于:2006-6-19 3:16:57 是呀我支持你的 人就要和自己斗 ---------------------------------------------------- 就是在给予和接受帮助的同是我们成为朋友 你说你喜欢风 说你是风的化 说我要是想你了 就去吹吹风 |
circle000 | 发表于:2006-6-21 20:26:40 from the bottom of my heart ,there is a very familiar story.but i don't know how to deal with it,i have to admit i am really not a smart girl on this.now i want to grow up soon,i want a new environment to forget all |
fengboy
| 发表于:2006-6-22 11:19:37 you love him,why not tell hin have no courage? Rember:love is not a simple thing ! I hope you will OK! |
start83 | 发表于:2006-6-22 16:46:30 Very good for your english and I can understand your mood at that moment. My english is very poor,So i don't know how to expression my notion.but i think you will finish school for your university.i hope you restarting,don't waste life in memory and past,because i attention today and aftertime all along since i was suffering,perhaps this is the difference of the boys and girls. I'm an english learner , I wish we should become friends! My email:fmusj8366@163.com |
meline
| 发表于:2006-6-24 22:07:53 ---------------------------------------------------- I think I can. I'm sure I can. I did it. |
carmen.y | 发表于:2006-6-28 15:09:16 A Excellent story of Secret Love... I'm so proud of you can hidden your love lasting for three years. If I were you, it's difficult to do it. Also, I definitely to appreciated your good written English. I'm so jealous of it. Are you being frined with me ? Just for pen pal friend to you. Please add my MSN:carmen_young_3@hotmail.com Thank you. |
jessica2 | 发表于:2006-6-28 20:40:34 Most of us have our own secret love, We dare not to tell anyone, I loved a boy at first , He's my mid-school classmate, I have loved him from after for almost 7years,NO one knew it,even my best friend,untill the May Day this year.In the past I cherished the illusion that he had the same feelings for me, many times ,I want to tell ask him whether he had ever loved me a little, but ,I DIDN'T AFTER ALL I'm a girl ,somewhat a introverted girl. I have my self-esteem.I always expect that some boy may standing in front of me,saying "Will u be my girl friend?",but I can't stand any longer,I just want to get the answer ,if he had nnever had the feelings for me, I'd give up so as not to bother myself,and fascy myself. Finally I did, I gathered my courage to tell him by sending him an email,in fact I have told it to my friend,and,she gave him some hint before I sending the email. I had expect the worst,though I CHERISHED there maight be some hope. Finally I got the answer,when I realized that I was wrong,totally wrong, That was my fancy,he never had thought of that. I bursted into tears while I was on line, IT was a long time that ,I hadn't cried,and I couldn't control myself, so I left the computer room,I didn't go back our Dormitory,I just want to stay along and cry out. I stayed alone for more than one hour,I tried to persuade myself to forget it, then i WENT TO my dorm pretending nothing happened.Then I try to relieve myself and collect my thoughts during the May day. OF COURSE it's not easy for me to forget it totally,after all,I feel much betternow though I haven't . |
9450100 | 发表于:2006-7-15 10:20:09 this is very touch...and it is very nice.....very very good....^^ |
海盗饭团 | 发表于:2006-7-23 17:06:30 dont care these love too much.im boeotian in love,but i think its not a bad thing for me.feel love gradually.thats also a beautiful thing.you will gain much from it and wont feel so saline |
freedom@
| 发表于:2006-7-23 23:09:10 I'm impressed by the story .Of course ,I ever taste this feeling .Absolutely ，I understand it！Love ，how can we describe it .Maybe, when it came, we didn’t perceive it but when we lost it, we can understand it really exist |
mycelia | 发表于:2006-7-30 14:59:40 Hi,Bertha,I am so impressed by your stroy. I can understand your feeling.You are a brave girl! For your study,you choose to give up your love. I can imagine that you overcome so many difficulties from your spirit! For your family,your parents ,yourself, you are really a outstanding guy. To your parents ,you are a abedient daughther.They are pround of you! Don't worry,my friend,we have a long way to go ,your Mr.Right is waiting for you.Let's put our fingers into crossed! |
spiritual | 发表于:2006-7-31 11:06:15 i love this feelings i like........ |
tracyping | 发表于:2006-8-16 13:45:37 actually, bertha,do you like Sun? if you don't like him,you should be happy that he finally found his lover, right? I really appreciates your firm mind during your educational life. Not only can you study well, but you can deal with love appropriately. |
jakytan | 发表于:2006-8-25 11:39:30 let it be !1!  |
lisa35 | 发表于:2006-8-25 17:27:02 THANKS FOR YOUR STORY.I'M SO IMPRESSED BY YOUR STORY.AND I HOPE YOU CAN SUCCEED IN YOUR STUDYING. |
cathyz0916 | 发表于:2006-9-12 19:27:18 hi.i'm also a inward girl. this is a thoughtprovoking story which is really abundantly.virtually, everyone must has a innermost secret,just like me ,i was fall in love with a smart boy but i don't dear to tell him.....  |
linsei | 发表于:2006-9-24 16:08:06 you think you love him?of what?or sun? foget it! YOU WILl FIND TURE LOVE EVENTUALLY. |
ifeather | 发表于:2006-11-8 18:05:44 i really appreciates your courage ,you wrer rather sensible to resolve the feeling question,if i were you,i couldn't do nothing just to avoid.... can not help to admiring you,so great! if i have this sence of yours... i couldn't be so sad now... |
古痕 | 发表于:2006-11-10 16:48:54 Nice, very very Nice!!!! |
mapple-fi | 发表于:2006-11-14 17:57:14 Beatiful! |
逆流的小鱼 | 发表于:2006-11-15 12:54:38 hehe.....very nice storey,but,i think provide that you have studing in a good university,just go ahead,don't mention any things a bout the pass,your experience like mine very much...and i know the terrify end when i mention the pass love again,yeah...you story is very beautiful as novel...it's true ,love is not the love when it past..... |
逆流的小鱼 | 发表于:2006-11-15 12:54:57 hehe.....very nice storey,but,i think provide that you have studing in a good university,just go ahead,don't mention any things a bout the pass,your experience like mine very much...and i know the terrify end when i mention the pass love again,yeah...you story is very beautiful as novel...it's true ,love is not the love when it past..... |
clover21qi | 发表于:2006-11-18 16:18:56 secret love is beautiful! I think most of all have secret love, the differences is whether you speak out or not. IF I was the girl in the story I will not like sun from the beginning. Because love is done when the first one missed |
小丑鱼 | 发表于:2006-11-18 20:26:22 I agree that most of us have our secret love.So do I.But for me it just a memery .Because it nobody knows except myself.I did not tell it anybody. |
寒冰 | 发表于:2006-12-27 18:54:02 Ｉ ＲＥＴＵＲＮ |
wyt13 | 发表于:2007-1-13 16:52:19 it is a really wonderful story that might happen to everyone in the high school . Thank you ,bertha for your impressive English writing skill. I am really touched.I hope you can paste another great essays here . |
c小调
| 发表于:2007-1-21 21:51:22 It's a good story. But why don't you tell him the feeling that you hide? ---------------------------------------------------- 一把吉他 半杯咖啡 |
dvaid | 发表于:2007-1-23 23:22:31 spporting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
bloodshed | 发表于:2007-1-28 18:14:14 I think you must be a very lively girl. |
likecoffee | 发表于:2007-2-20 21:57:09 I have the same experience as yours.But there also some differences. The differences are I have no my Sun.And no people share my sadness.And I couldn't go to my satisfied university. |
likecoffee | 发表于:2007-2-20 21:59:50 |
likecoffee | 发表于:2007-2-20 22:00:50 |
temptation | 发表于:2007-3-11 12:48:26 i have the same experience as yours. |
彩霞 | 发表于:2007-3-11 12:55:06 Sorry,I don't know. |
wisely | 发表于:2007-3-15 22:31:12 A good love essay!Thanks for your work. I think you are a very rational girl.You can do correct things at a appropriate time.You chose your study during your high school days which was a wise choice.I am a sophomore now.I have just lost my first love and she is my classmate.I liked her at the first sight during the new semester.Then I expressed my affection to her when we were travalling toghter.At that time she had a boyfriend and did not pay much attention to my words and we were still commin friend.One year later she was single and I said to her:"I like her!" to others during a rest between classes and she heard it and replied:"really?""yes!"I replied immatediately.Some days later she asked me whether I were willing to be her boyfriend and I accepted surprisingly.Later I were wondering:"why do you accept me?""I am moved and you are a good man!"I were very surprised at her respons and did not think a lot.But unfortunately,after the Chinese New Year she put forward parting with me and I said nothing and we became the most familiar stranger since then.However I am not regretful and I know she does not like me any longer and perhaps she hasn't liked me ever before.She just takes my phsical body to miss another one.So many factors and I do not want to imagine and I only know that I were very happy during the days we shared together!No one is blamed for it and I am single again.Very happy though the hurt she brought still not cured completely. Speak loud your love and do not let yourself regretful. Some one we missed will never emerges again and there is a boy loves a girl forever! |
zhenzhen_5 | 发表于:2007-3-18 22:05:23 I am greatly moved .The story seems a little sorrows.I had faced the same situation before but i accepted the handsome guy cus i loved him very much .I can"t help myself for the magic temptation and he persuited me very romantecly .Those days we went to school together shared joys and sorrows both on study and daily life .Now i still consider it as my best memory . All these did"t last long ,i don"t konw what happened between us . In the final exam ,both of us got a low digree ,i can"t go to the north and lost him also .That summer holiday i suffered a lot ,my first love seems so brief but unforgettable..Every detail i can learn by heart .Love changes me a lot ,and when i enter the university every day i compare all of my past with colledge life .I live in memory not in reality All those game over ,iam a sophmore now i have some persuiters but i don"t want to fall in love any more .I 'M not cold blooded but wait for my true prince it seems so hard to find one who deserve i love so much .OH my godness i have said so much and this is the first time i 've been here .I love this place to express myself .I love english so much ..... |
ripple_ren | 发表于:2007-4-1 22:44:04 LOVE is sharing. So please don't stand it by yourself! Frighting! |
chendaiyi0 | 发表于:2007-5-14 16:19:00 love is a choice. you can choose others .so do others.perish what you get from the progress chasing the lover. |
亘古星 | 发表于:2007-5-31 0:04:06 it sounds like a representative story at high schools.maybe u made a wise and bitter choice, for u reached a high achievement in the challenge and ur parents could be really proud of u; u know that we live in the world with duty,not only for ourselvies,but for families and others.never feel of pity when one has to concentrate all power onto competition concerning with destination in future.when u can reach a new peak,u will have new and more opportunities. |
peterback | 发表于:2007-6-22 13:38:33 Your words are so beautiful. I am really moved by the story you write. It seem that I was the guy in the story. You give me the chance to review my old days four years ago. Anyway, thanks |
往次 | 发表于:2007-7-17 19:43:22 you are a brave girl I have to admire you bravery . you have the courage to give up your love . not everyone could do this .If i were you I could give up that like you . you are a excelent girl ! come on |
abcboy
| 发表于:2007-7-25 18:25:33 Hi, poster! I really don't know waht you should do? I am here so late. It's 2007. I tap this letters just want to to to pratise my English! ---------------------------------------------------- From ABC to XYZ... |
| |
| 快速回复 | 主题：My broken heart in the first secret love |